Dear Carol,

Sometimes my boyfriend doesn’t respond to me for, like, a week. He doesn’t live near me or go to my school, so I don’t know what’s happening until he responds. He always has a good reason as to why he’s been out of touch, but every time I still go into a spiral of what I could have done wrong. How do I just let it be?

– Spiral

Dear Spiral,

Instead of trying to let it be, take a giant step back and realize that this relationship is not working for you. The best option might be to break up with him. Sure, it’s nice to have a nice boyfriend, but it’s not fun to have a so-called boyfriend who has no time to text back and is unavailable emotionally. You deserve better. Rather than tell him this, tell yourself this. Your moods shouldn’t depend on him, especially since he’s offering so little. Consider texting, “I think we should go our separate ways this year. I’m wishing you the best.” As for spiraling, work on finding ways to make yourself proud so that your self-esteem comes from within—not from some distant dude. For the new school year, make it a goal to hang out with people who make you feel better, not worse.

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books, including Girltalk, Speed of Life and Ava and Pip. Follow her on Insta @carolwestonnyc and visit carolweston.com.

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