Dear Carol,

I’m in seventh grade and in a bit of a pickle. Last year I realized I have a crush on my best friend and found out I am bisexual. My other best friend said that we would be a cute couple—and my best friend agreed. I didn’t deny it, nor did I agree. I was honestly just confused, because if we do date then we break up, would we stop being friends? We’ve known each other since preschool. I just don’t want to ruin our friendship.

-Confused

Dear Confused,

Thanks for writing. I’m guessing that your hormones are still sorting all this out. You say you “found out” that you are bisexual, but it’s rarely so cut and dry. In time your body will probably make it clear to you whether you are more physically attracted to boys or to girls or are drawn to both. But why label yourself now? I’m all for you being you—I just don’t want you to complicate things. At this stage, friendship often outlasts romance, and that alone is a valid reason to take things slowly. If someday you and your BFF find you both want to date? Great. But since you are expressing reservations, there’s much to be said for leaving well enough alone. After all, you didn’t write me to say: “I’m dying to kiss my BFF!”

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books, including Girltalk, Speed of Life and Ava and Pip. Follow her on Insta @carolwestonnyc and visit carolweston.com.

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