Dear Carol,

Lately, a girl on my track team has been giving me lots of corrections. Not tips, corrections. I want her to stop. I know the entire point of getting corrections is to make you better, but she’s correcting me on things she’s bad at herself! It’s so hypocritical. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind if she was one of the seniors or coaches, but we’re both freshmen and she only joined the team this year with no experience. I was on the middle school team—and we won a state championship. I’d like for her to stop, but how can I tell her without sounding rude?

– Overcorrected

Dear Overcorrected,

Nobody loves being told what to do. That’s one of the perks of being Dear Carol: I get to offer advice because girls ask for it. Since you do not want this person’s opinion, tell her that her corrections aren’t helping you— and that you do better with encouragement instead. Me, too: When I want notes, I ask for them. Otherwise, unless a correction is coming from a pro, it will probably just make me self-conscious. I admire that you don’t want to be rude, but it’s OK to call her out on this behavior. And if she’s not receptive, you may need to enlist your coach’s help. Confidence breeds confidence, and if she’s undermining your confidence, she’s hurting the whole team.

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books, including Girltalk, Speed of Life and Ava and Pip. Follow her on Insta @carolwestonnyc and visit carolweston.com.

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