So you’ve got a confusing crush. One minute they’re totally giving you heart-eyes across the bio lab, and the next they’re ghosting your iMessage thread. You thought they liked you, but maybe you were just imagining it?

We’ve got your guide to figuring out if you’ve got a hot-and-cold cutie on your hands—and how to move on from a crush giving mixed signals.

Signs they are giving mixed signals

They text you a lot…but then disappear.

One week, they’re sending you tons of friendly and flirty messages. The next? One-word responses—or worse, complete silence. Maybe they can’t decide if they want to pursue a ‘ship with you yet. Maybe they have a busy schedule. Or maybe they’re trying to keep their options open. No matter the reason, here’s the thing: Someone who truly likes you and wants to be your S.O. won’t leave you on read. They’ll want to talk to you as much as they can.

Their actions don’t match their words.

They said they were looking for a relationship, but they haven’t initiated any dates yet. Or put much effort into genuinely getting to know you, for that matter. If they’re not following through with their promises, that’s a clear sign they don’t have the emotional capacity for a relationship right now.

They’re wary about including you with their friends or fam.

When it’s just the two of you, things are flirty, fine and dandy. But when you’re in the caf with their crew? They’re suddenly giving you the cold shoulder. If a potential bae keeps you at arm’s length around their nearest and dearest, that probably means they’re unsure if they want to pursue something serious with you.

How to move on from mixed signals

On their best days, crushes can take up a lot of space in your brain. So when things start to get confusing, it’s easy to slip into overthinking for hours on end. Before you let this person totally take over your life, consider this: The right person won’t cause you to constantly wonder about where you stand…which is why putting this crush in the rearview mirror is absolutely the way to go.

Distract yourself.

Instead of lying in bed analyzing things your crush said over and over again (been there), fill your time with things that genuinely make you happy. Watch a favorite childhood Disney movie, dive into a new hobby (watercolors, anyone?), grab lattes with your besties or practice some much-needed self-care. Whatever it is, try to stay busy. Focusing on other things will remind you that there is more to life than a crush—and help keep your thoughts from spiraling.

Journal it out.

Sometimes it’s good to get your feelings out on paper (or even just your Notes app). Instead of bottling them up, pour out every emotion you’re experiencing on the page. It’ll help you process what happened and ultimately get over it faster.

Limit the stalking.

We know it is tempting to constantly check your crush’s IG Story, Snapchat score and scroll through their old photos…but is it really doing any good for you? If you need to block their account or mute their posts to limit the temptation, do it. Because the truth is, you’re never going to get over them if you’re being reminded of them 24/7.

Most importantly? Remember your worth.

Surround yourself with people who love you and lift you up (your best friend, your mom, your soccer team) and remind yourself of all your amazing talents (writing a love letter to yourself is always a good idea). There are plenty more crushes in your future—so try not to let this one person ruin your good vibe.

Looking for more big-sis advice? We have plenty for ya:
💗Crush Crushed You? Read This
💗”Dear Carol, I’m Too Afraid To Ask If I Can Date, But I Really Want To Ask This Boy Out.”
💗The Non-Cringey Way To Approach Your New School Crush