So your crush just put you in the friend zone. Or started dating someone else. Or, (eek), ghosted as soon as your text thread turned flirty.

We’ve all been there—and it totally stings when you find out that your crush isn’t quite the one. But before you go doom-scrolling their Insta “Following” list or replaying every single convo in your head, we’re here to help you heal your heart, reclaim your confidence and move on to something (or someone) *so* much better.

1. Give yourself permission to feel everything

Sadness, frustration, embarrassment, confusion—odds are, there’s a whole slew of tricky emotions swirling in your head right now. And guess what? That’s totally okay.

In fact, it’s a good thing. Psychologists say that feeling these complicated emotions is a crucial part of the healing process after a crush lets you down. It’s basically your brain starting to make sense of what happened—and if you don’t give yourself space to process your thoughts, they could come back and cause harm down the road. Whether you’re craving a good cry or, hey, even a tough punch to your pillow, let yourself feel it all.

And if your head’s feeling really jumbled? Journaling can help. (Psst: Writing is a proven way to help you effectively process your emotions—and it can quite literally make your brain feel 10 times lighter.) Pour yourself a comforting cup of tea and curl up with a pen and paper. Try these prompts to get to the root of the sitch:

+ What did I really like about them?
+ What did they do that let me down?
+ What did I learn about myself from this?
+ What am I looking for in a future relationship?

2. Unfollow, mute or take a break

A social media detox is one of the best things you can do after a tricky crush sitch. Whether you delete the apps totally or simply mute their profiles for a bit, creating some digital space helps you detach from this person (and removes the temptation to constantly stalk their pics).

You don’t have to avoid their account forever, but freeing up your feed (and your mental headspace) will help you focus on other things and people. All that time you used to spend browsing their TikTok likes? Now you can spend it on self-care (hiii, lavender bubble baths), connecting with a friend or trying something new (joining a weekend sports league, perhaps?).

3. Build your signature playlist

We don’t have to be the first to tell you that music is magic. Create a playlist of songs that lift your mood, make you dance or even help you cry it out (better yet, create one for all three!). Play it in the shower, in the car or any time you need a sprinkle of self-care.

4. Hang with your squad

OK, so this crush didn’t quite pan out—but we’re ready to bet that you still have a lot of people in your corner. Now’s the perfect time to deepen your connection with your crew.

Organize a Halloween movie night, recurring Sunday coffee date or leaf-peeping hike with your gals. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh and remind you of your worth—because the world is sooo much wider than your crush.

5. Pick up a hobby (or rediscover an old one)

Whether it’s dancing, painting, writing or trying out for a new team, diving into your passions can help refocus your energy on something that truly matters to you.

Plus, being engaged in something you love boosts your confidence—and puts you in the perfect sitch to meet new people (win-win!).

6. Date yourself first

May we remind you that date nights aren’t just for couples? Solo dates are very much a thing (and very much a great way to build your confidence back up). Whether you’re treating yourself to an at-home spa night, whipping up your favorite mint brownies or buying yourself flowers, getting comfy with your own company is a seriously healthy thing to do. Not only will it boost your happiness right now, but it will also put you in a better place for when you *do* meet a new bae.

7. Look ahead, not back

Remember this: Crushes are just one part of your story…not the whole book. Your next chapter could bring someone even more amazing. Remember all the other things that make your life sparkle (think: your friends, your fam, your fave music)—and trust that, with time, this will simply feel like a small bump in the road. Onward!

More Crush Content Right This Way…
💗 QUIZ! Are You Broken Up Or On A Break
💗 “Dear Carol, I’m Too Afraid To Ask If I Can Date But I Really Want To Ask This Boy Out.”
💗 How To Approach Your New School Crush

Top and slider image: @chandlerlkinney