You’ve been eyeing your crush for a while now, but you haven’t had the guts to make a move yet. Psst: That’s about to change! Consider this your guide to making your dating dream a reality…

Breathe in, breathe out

Anxiety is no joke, especially when it comes to your crush. It can fill your mind with a million thoughts and worries. But no need to feel overwhelmed: Let’s try a breathing technique to squash those crush jtiters right off the bat.

Inhale deeply for two seconds, then exhale for four seconds. As you breathe, visualize your “happy place.” Your happy place is anywhere that calms your nerves—the beach, park or simply being around family.

Anxiety can also cause your body to hold lots of tension. Relax your jaw, drop your shoulders, move your arms, legs and shake out those jittery feelings.

Phew, now you’re ready to get planning…

Give yourself a pep talk

We tend to be our biggest critics, which is why it’s equally important to be our *biggest* motivators. Say these affirmations out loud to jumpstart your confidence (or jot ’em in your Notes app to review before you make your move):

“I can do anything I put my mind to.”

“I can handle anything that comes my way.”

“I’m awesome.”

“I believe in myself.”

Repeat these on a daily basis, because the more you practice saying them, the more your self-esteem will level up. Say goodbye to those negative thoughts!

Be specific with your intentions

Before you approach your crush, it’s important to know what exactly you want to say to them. Don’t approach them with a vague statement like “Let’s hang out.” (That could make bae confused whether you’re asking to connect as just friends…or something more.) The last thing you want is for there to be any mixed signals.

Be very specific with your intentions (it shows that you want to get to know them better). Suggest an *actual* date, like going to the movies, checking out the new sushi spot in town or cheering on the basketball team together.

Find the right timing

When it comes to mustering up the courage to ask out your crush, finding the right timing and location are key. Ideally, ask when you’re not in a time crunch and your surroundings aren’t too hectic (rushing between chemistry and lit class = no good). But if you catch them hanging around the caf during free period, go for it, girl!

Prep some conversation starters

If you’re stuck on how to start the convo, don’t worry. One of the best ways to take initiative is by beginning with small talk—it’ll make things more comfortable between the two of you, break any awkward tension and help get the discussion flowing. Remember, conversations aren’t supposed to be perfect, so stay chill, natural and don’t overthink it!

Ask about their day/how they are doing. One of the most universal ways to begin a convo, simply ask about how their day has been so far and go from there! Depending on their answer, you can find a way to relate to them or branch into another topic.

Ask for advice or a favor. Try asking for help with a homework question, a decision you’ve been contemplating or for a recommendation on what to watch next on Netflix. You can also ask them to get something for you that you can’t reach, to borrow something or to catch you up on anything you missed in class. 

Compliment them. If there’s one thing that’s true, everyone loves to get complimented. Whether it be about their shirt you like or their amaze public speaking skills, compliments send clear “I like you” energy.

Find something in common. Heads up, this may require a bit of digging! If you find something in common with your crush (like how you both heart indie folk bands), it’ll be easy to bring up and continue talking about. After all, convos are always more fun if you’re both interested in the topic. 

Once you’ve talked for a bit, drop the big question. (Oh, and remember, if you’re feeling extra nervous to hang out one-on-one, you can also invite them to a double date or to join your squad’s next outing.)

Be OK with any outcome

Once you’ve finally asked them out, be prepared that they might turn you down—and that’s OK. Although we’re hoping for it to all work out, being flexible will make you stronger and more resilient. There are a ton of reasons why someone may not be ready to date yet (it doesn’t mean that you’re not worthy or will never work out in the future), so trust that whatever happens happened for a reason. Being your most authentic and genuine self is what’s important, and if the timing isn’t right to be with this person, there’s nothing wrong with that.

Need more crush advice? Check out these articles below:
💗 Here’s how to have the “What are we” talk?
💗 How to stay connect with your crush this summer
💗 10 films to watch on your next movie date

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Images mages: @abbyjameswitherspoon, @avajules_, @niasioux