Just a few thoughts leading into this week’s episode…First of all, if this isn’t finally the Conrad POV episode and it’s not longer than every other episode like everyone’s been speculating, I will be suing. I can only handle so many more Jelly scenes before I break.
But then again…there are rumors floating around that Taylor Swift’s “How Did It End” might play during this episode, and if that ends up being true? Jenny Han, you’ll be hearing from my therapist, or my ghost, because I simply won’t survive that.
And speaking of Jenny…nothing she does is ever by accident. The fact that she specifically made this episode Episode 5 of Season 3? That tells me everything I need to know. If you’re a Swiftie, you already know that track fives are always the most gut-wrenching songs on Taylor’s albums. So for this to be Conrad’s POV, and to land at episode five? That’s no coincidence. Get your tissues ready, this one’s gonna hurt.
We open right where we left off, Conrad replaying the moment Belly hugged him and he whispered, “What have I done?” He cannot stop thinking about how it felt to be that close to her again. (We’re literally 60 seconds in and I’m already unwell.)
And then he says it himself, being near Belly feels like being hit by a thunderbolt. That’s how in love with her he still is. You can tell he’s trying everything to avoid her, just holding out until the wedding, because he knows once she’s married, that’s it. No more thinking about her like that. No more dreaming. (So yeah…let’s all pray that wedding doesn’t actually happen.)
Meanwhile, Steven and Taylor share a super awkward moment, but it’s giving very much “we’re better at hiding our feelings than Conrad is,” because we can all see the yearning in that man’s eyes when it comes to Belly.
And ouch…when Belly calls Conrad her “future brother-in-law?” That was a knife straight to the heart. Like, full-on stab. Watching him fumble through small talk because just being around her is too much? Yeah, that was painful to watch.
And let me say it louder for the people in the back—if we spend any more time on anyone other than Conrad during his POV episode, I’m rioting. Like, love all the other characters, but just give me a full hour of this man brooding and pining, please and thank you.
Oh, and look who’s sticking around work a little longer than expected, Jeremiah. Which means Belly and Conrad? More alone time. Do I dare get my hopes up?
Conrad literally admits that every time Belly has ever needed help, his first instinct is to figure out how to fix it. We get this adorable flashback of baby Conrad helping baby Belly ride her bike while Jeremiah rides off and complains that she’s too slow. If you’re wondering if anything has changed…yeah, no.
And now, as if Belly doesn’t already have enough on her plate (no pun intended), she finds out that just the cake for the wedding is way more expensive than expected. You can see the doubt creeping in.
She texts Jeremiah to talk it over, and he says he’s busy. Conveniently, right after we see a flashback of Conrad going out of his way to help her with something completely unrelated to him. Coincidence? Absolutely not. Jenny Han is making it very clear who’s always shown up for Belly, and who always will.
Cut to Conrad pulling over to help Belly carry her bags just because he saw her struggling, even though he knows it hurts just to be near her. He helps anyway. Meanwhile…Jeremiah? Nowhere to be found. We also learn that Conrad used to collect stamps. Add that to the list of things that make him even more precious.
Belly asks for one more errand stop and he tries to say no, because he’s clearly at his emotional limit, but of course he caves. He always does. He’d literally do anything for her, even when it’s killing him inside. Watching the girl you love plan a wedding to your brother? I can’t even imagine that kind of pain.
Also, let’s talk about how Belly keeps avoiding telling vendors that she’s planning a wedding, she won’t even say the word. Maybe that’s because she knows deep down…something’s off. Something doesn’t feel right.
When the florist gives her a $5,000 quote, Conrad immediately jumps into problem-solving mode and suggests using Susannah’s hydrangeas. Not only is that such a thoughtful, sentimental fix, it’s his way of bringing Susannah into the day. Like I said, always there for her.
And then…chaos. Jeremiah finds out Conrad suggested a different cake, more within budget, and completely loses it on the phone. He doesn’t even ask Belly, just demands they get the cake he wants and hangs up on her. Meanwhile, Belly is on the verge of tears trying to make this wedding work basically on her own. And Conrad still defends him. He even volunteers to go to Michaels with her to finish the errands, AGAIN picking up Jeremiah’s slack for a wedding that isn’t even his. Like, how is this man real?
Jeremiah finally gets Adam on board to pay for the wedding, but now he wants to do it his way—country club venue, big guest list—and Jeremiah just rolls with it. No check-in with his fiancée. Just vibes. If this were Conrad? He would’ve fought to make sure Belly got exactly what she wanted.
Conrad opens up about therapy and Belly is genuinely proud of him. Meanwhile, “Cherry” by Harry Styles plays while Belly and Conrad are alone together. Jenny Han, you genius. Perfect song, perfect moment. And then, he slips. He says he forgot for a second that he’s not the one marrying her. (Heart = shattered.)
Still, he’s doing everything he can to make this fun for her. And then, just when he feels like maybe he can handle it, he opens up and tells her he got fired. He’s never let himself be this vulnerable with her before, because he always felt like he had to be strong, especially since Susannah always reminded him how much Belly admired him.
And then…the PEACHES SCENE! I was not ready. This is one of my absolute favorite book moments and we finally got it. I’m gonna need five to seven business days to recover, thank you. And since us readers know exactly how Belly felt during this scene…Connie, I can assure you, it wasn’t just in your head.
Seeing how he sees her, how deep his love runs, it’s everything. Every time he tries to resist her, she pulls him back in without even trying. They’re giving married couple energy while cooking together and I’m just like…let’s cut the rest and get to their wedding already please and thank you. (Cause that’s the only way this can end…right Jenny Han? Please.)
And then we get a flashback, finally one where Belly and Conrad are still together just how it should be. The infinity necklace is featured, and man does this put the fireplace scene to shame if you know what I mean. Cue Jeremiah bursting in with a “honey, I’m home” and singlehandedly killing the moment. Conrad saying he’d rather be hit with a nail gun repeatedly than watch Jeremiah and Belly all over each other? Yeah, I couldn’t agree more.
And once again, Jeremiah uses guilt to convince Belly to go along with Adam’s country club wedding vision, all because he sees this as Adam’s way of trying with him. If this were Conrad, he would have told Adam to back off and made sure Belly felt heard and got her dream wedding.
We get a heartbreaking flashback to Conrad with Susannah on her deathbed, where he promises to always look out for Jeremiah, and that’s exactly why he’s let himself get hurt over and over again. He puts himself last, always.
And when he thinks back to that motel scene, when he told Belly he only saw her as a friend, he wonders just how different things could’ve been if he hadn’t lied. But now, he’s convinced Jeremiah can give her everything she needs. He’s convinced she deserves better, even though that “better” has always been him.
Okay, so it wasn’t 90 minutes like we hoped…but Jenny Han, you delivered. Sixty-six minutes of pure Conrad Fisher perfection. I will be rewatching this episode on a loop until further notice. Goodbye for now.
Share your predictions for next weeks episode on IG @girlslifemag!
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