We get it: Having a crush can feel like the most exciting thing *ever*. It starts with one glance in the hallway or a sweet comment on your IG Story, and suddenly, your brain is scripting an entire rom-com.
But here’s the truth: When you’re all wrapped up in the early stages of romance, it’s super easy to start seeing your cutie with rose-colored glasses. (You know, when every single thing they do to please you is the cutest thing ever—and every way they fall short is “no big deal.”)
At the beginning of a relationship, it’s more important than ever to look out for both the green and red flags. That way, you can make sure you’re only giving your time and affection to someone who truly deserves it.
So how do you enjoy the exciting crushing phase, without turning bae into a fantasy version of themselves? Take these steps to keep it real.
Stay grounded
Your crush is just one part of your world—so don’t let them control your life. We know, it’s easy to let a new crush take up all your headspace. But between the daydreaming and flirty texts, make sure you’re still focusing on other things that fill you up (think: working on your beauty YouTube channel, joining French club at school or grabbing coffee with your cousins).
Focus on what you actually know
Separate imagination from reality by reflecting on real moments with your crush. Journal about times they made you laugh, surprised you or showed genuine kindness. How do you feel when you’re with them? Calm and happy? Nervous and shy? Ask yourself: “Do I like them for who they actually are, or the version I created in my head?” This will help keep your crushing rooted in reality.
Keep things low-pressure
Before getting to the first date level, get to know your crush naturally by planning casual hangouts. Invite them to a group study session or a small group outing with friends (the holidays are the perf time for a squad hot cocoa run). Low-pressure interactions help you see who they truly are—without pressure to jump right into BF/GF status.
Remember your worth
No matter how your crush feels about you, your value is already set. Practice self-love through affirmations (say “I’m enough” or “I deserve a real connection”), and take yourself on solo dates like a morning walk, matcha run or Netflix night. Those habits build up the confidence you need to figure out if a potential cutie is truly worth your time.
Bottom line? It’s totally fine to daydream a little (we all do!). Just make sure your imagination doesn’t take over reality. Because the best connections happen when you’re being your real self—and liking someone for theirs.
Need more crush advice? Check these out:
💗 Crush Crushed You? Read This?
💗 5 Signs Your Relationship Or Friendship Might Be Toxic
💗 QUIZ! Are You Broken Up Or On A Break?
Slider and top image: @mel.amartinez
