Dear Carol,

I broke up with my ex four months ago. It wasn’t a bad breakup. It was just really, really awkward. He won’t stop talking to me, and I’ve given him many hints that I don’t want to speak to him anymore. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I also don’t feel comfortable. He also told me that his biggest regret was dating me, so I’m really confused on why he keeps wanting to have some sort of connection.

– Awkward Ex

Dear Awkward Ex,

I’m lucky: I’m still friends with some of the boys I kissed before I got married. I liked and respected them then, and I still appreciate their good sides, even if we didn’t choose to be each other’s person forever and ever. Do you really have to never speak to your ex again vs. figuring out how to be casual and cordial? Soon enough he will accept that you’ve moved on. Since he said that dating you was his biggest regret (yet he still wants to talk), it sounds like he is not over you… which is tricky. I hate to hold this against him, but can you try to subtly get out of his orbit (avoid the places where he hangs out and don’t get chummy with his closest friends)? If you must, you could be more direct and text, “I’m sorry things got weird between us, and I hope we can go back to being friends.” Time itself really will ease this situation, so try to focus on your goals and the many other people in your life instead of your awkward ex.

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books, including Girltalk, Speed of Life and Ava and Pip. Follow her on Insta @carolwestonnyc and visit carolweston.com.

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