Dear Carol,

I’m 12 and I recently realized I am bi. I already have a girlfriend (I love her so much!). My problem is that, even though I know my GF loves me, I still feel like I’m not good enough for her. I mean, I’m a very fl awed person. People tell me I’m annoying and I’m “too much to handle.” Plus, my interests are really childish. (I have ADHD so that might explain things.) I want to be the best for my girlfriend, but I feel like I’m still not good enough. Is it normal to feel this insecure?

-Mrs. Insecure

Dear Ms. Insecure,
It’s normal to feel insecure, particularly at your age. You are still discovering who you are and finding your people. My advice is not to lean in too hard on labeling yourself. Just be the best you you can be—and do it for your sake, not for a girlfriend, boyfriend, parent, teacher or coach. And who is calling you annoying? That strikes me as rude, and why listen to rude people? As for interests that are childish, your interests are still developing. If you like kids movies or kids books, that’s totally fine. Who knows? Maybe someday you’ll write movies or books for kids. (My writing for girls doesn’t make me immature, right?) Please don’t judge yourself harshly. Start saying “Yay me” to yourself instead of “I am flawed.”

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books, including Girltalk, Speed of Life and Ava and Pip. Follow her on Insta @carolwestonnyc and visit carolweston.com.

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