Dear Carol, 

I’m in middle school. My bsf told me that one of my close friends said that I was her least favorite in our friend group because I was too “clingy.” My close friend doesn’t know that my bsf told me this. I want to stay her friend. What do I do?

-Am I Overthinking?

Dear Am I Overthinking?,

You aren’t overthinking. That was a not-nice thing to say! Truly. It’s mean and immature and the worst of middle school. Adults don’t whisper, “Hey, I’m doing you a favor by telling you that so-and-so finds you clingy.” (Or “So-and-so doesn’t want to decorate your locker.”) Keep being outgoing and joining sports and activities, and you will find your people as well as your confidence and independence. Ideally, you can all stay friends, and if this topic comes up, hold your head high and say you didn’t mean to be clingy—you just enjoy their company. But keep your eye out for new friends, too. And keep doing things that help you feel productive and good about yourself. Do you have any unusual interests? Explore those.

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books, including Girltalk, Speed of Life and Ava and Pip. Follow her on Insta @carolwestonnyc and visit carolweston.com.

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