Dear Carol,
I have a serious problem with my boyfriend of almost 10 months. We used to have a lot of fun together, but at the end of the summer, he told me he loved me while he was under a heavy dose of painkillers due to surgery. I felt awkward and told him I loved him back, but I don’t know if I fully meant my words. Things between us have been super weird since. He doesn’t even want to kiss anymore. My friends and family are all telling me to break up with him, and I honestly don’t think I’d be missing out if I did. Things have simply become so non-communicative and plain boring. I don’t want to be stuck with him for the rest of senior year, but I have no clue how to break up with him (or even if I should). And the time never feels right.
-Lost and Confused
Dear Lost And Confused,
If your BFF told you that she was dating someone, but it was awkward and boring and she felt stuck, what would you tell her? You’d tell her to break up with him and set herself free. Breaking up is hard, but it’s what you need to do. You say the time has never felt right, but the fact is, it never will. Find your courage and get yourself unstuck. How? Try, “Hey, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about and it’s kind of difficult…” He’ll guess where that conversation is going. Then take it there. Say, “You and I had a good time being each other’s boyfriend and girlfriend, but I think we got serious a little too fast. I think it would be good for us to be on our own before high school ends. I hope we can stay friends.” It seems inevitable that you are going to part ways, so rip off that Band-Aid even if it hurts. Then, avoid mixed messages (like hearting his texts) and don’t let him see you holding anyone else’s hand for a while. The good news: You aren’t lost and confused. You know your mind and just need to summon the strength to speak up.
Carol Weston is the author of 16 books, including Girltalk, Speed of Life and Ava and Pip. Follow her on Insta @carolwestonnyc and visit carolweston.com.
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