Dear Carol, 

This guy in my civics class is funny, sweet and friendly. We have a lot in common and he’s also close with my best guy friend, so the three of us spend a fair amount of time together. Everything was good until I realized I had a crush on him. One day, we were texting for three hours, so I asked him to the dance. He replied that he “didn’t know” and he’d “tell me another time.” After that, he started being kind of mean to me. It went on like that until I told him I was sick of waiting, and did he want to go to the dance? He told me no, then our conversation just stopped. I was really sad about it. The other day, I was playing basketball at my BGF’s house and he came over. He wanted to play one-on-one the whole time. He is a lot bigger than me, so to stop him from shooting, we had a lot of contact. He took it as a chance to give me piggyback rides, and when it was time to go, he gave me two hugs and we were holding hands. The next day at school, he barely talked to me, but later he called, and we talked for an hour. Now the dance is coming up, and I don’t know what to do.

-Crushing and Confused

Dear Crushing And Confused,

I don’t blame you for feeling confused. Sounds like he’s confused, too. On the one hand, he doesn’t want to be pressured. On the other, he’s happy to hang on the phone and give you piggyback rides. You’ve already asked him to go, so don’t ask again. Maybe talk to your BGF about this? Even after the dance, you’ll want to know where you stand. If he’s not kind to you in school, I hope you won’t stay under his spell much longer—especially since from my POV, he’s not always “funny, sweet and friendly.” (You may wish he were, but he’s not.) Make an effort to focus on other things, too, like school, family, friends and basketball.

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books, including Girltalk, Speed of Life and Ava and Pip. Follow her on Insta @carolwestonnyc and visit carolweston.com.

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