{"id":291989,"date":"2025-05-14T08:34:02","date_gmt":"2025-05-14T13:34:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/girlslife.com\/?p=291989"},"modified":"2025-05-17T16:42:05","modified_gmt":"2025-05-17T21:42:05","slug":"dear-carol-im-unsure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/life\/291989\/dear-carol-im-unsure\/","title":{"rendered":"“Dear Carol, Is everyone faking wanting to be my friend?”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Teen-friend-advice\"<\/p>\n

Dear Carol,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Whenever I meet someone, I\u2019m never quite sure if how I feel\u00a0about them is the way they feel about me. For example, there\u00a0was this girl I used to hang with every week, but when we\u00a0exchanged numbers, she never texted me back. I want to make\u00a0sure I\u2019m not wasting my time with people who don\u2019t appreciate\u00a0me. I wish people would not send out so many mixed signals. Like\u00a0when someone my age who I literally just met engages in conversation, it could mean one of two different things. Either they\u00a0want to know me\u2026or that\u2019s what they do with everyone.<\/strong><\/p>\n

– Unsure<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Unsure,<\/p>\n

I\u2019m friendly and outgoing, and I tend to be nice to everyone. This\u00a0doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m faking it or being inauthentic or trying to lead\u00a0anyone on or then ghosting them if I don\u2019t follow up. I\u2019m just happy\u00a0to talk with people and learn about them. Sometimes, we become\u00a0friends, but more often we go our separate ways. The challenge for\u00a0all of us is to be patient and open as we get to know each other.\u00a0We may not know right away how close we\u2019ll become. But casual\u00a0conversations are not a waste of time, and small talk can turn into big talk and a real bond. Try not to define relationships too\u00a0quickly. Sometimes you might like someone then cool off on her\u00a0if you overhear her making fun of someone else. Sometimes you\u2019ll\u00a0be neutral about someone then admire her more after seeing her\u00a0perform in a musical or excel at a sport. Try to enjoy getting to\u00a0know people and letting them get to know you. Relationships are\u00a0all about nuance, and they need time to grow.<\/p>\n

\n

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books, including\u00a0Girltalk, Ava and Pip\u00a0<\/em>and\u00a0Speed of Life<\/em>,\u00a0a\u00a0novel\u00a0about a 14-year-old girl who writes to an advice columnist. Carol’s audiobooks are on Spotify. More at\u00a0carolweston.com<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0on Instagram\u00a0@carolwestonnyc<\/a>.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Dealing with probs? Read more Dear Carol here:
\n\ud83d\udc9e “Dear Carol, I Just Can’t Get Over My Crush”<\/a>
\n\ud83d\udc9e “Dear Carol, My Siblings Get All The Attention”<\/a>
\n\ud83d\udc9e “Dear Carol, I Like This Boy Who Doesn’t Know I Exist”<\/a><\/b>
\n<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

We want to hear from you! Go\u00a0here<\/a>\u00a0to submit questions to Carol about every sticky sitch life throws at you.<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Carol,<\/p>\n

Whenever I meet someone, I\u2019m never quite sure if how I feel about them is the way they feel about me. For example, there<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":295520,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[283,284,1153],"tags":[48,61124,19177,61126,5312,61123,42,61122,61125,285,51,61112,61121,61120],"class_list":["post-291989","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life","category-dear-carol","category-friends","tag-advice","tag-advice-column-for-teens","tag-advice-for-girls","tag-advice-for-high-schoolers","tag-advice-for-teens","tag-advice-when-youre-unsure-how-people-feel-about-you","tag-dear-carol","tag-how-to-tell-if-someone-is-just-being-nice-to-you","tag-how-to-tell-if-someone-wants-to-be-your-friend","tag-life","tag-life-advice","tag-life-advice-column","tag-social-advice","tag-social-advice-column"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/291989","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=291989"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/291989\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/295520"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=291989"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=291989"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=291989"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}