{"id":284446,"date":"2025-05-24T03:49:00","date_gmt":"2025-05-24T08:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/girlslife.com\/?p=284446"},"modified":"2025-05-20T12:53:49","modified_gmt":"2025-05-20T17:53:49","slug":"how-to-talk-to-your-friends-when-they-hurt-your-feelings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/life\/284446\/how-to-talk-to-your-friends-when-they-hurt-your-feelings\/","title":{"rendered":"How to talk to your friends when they hurt your feelings"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-296518\" src=\"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/friendhurtfeelingsmain.jpg\" alt=\"Five young women in elegant, light-colored evening gowns smile and pose together in a well-lit, ornate room with wooden doors and a chandelier, while two friends in the background talk to friends by a mirror and adjust their dresses.\" width=\"700\" height=\"700\" srcset=\"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/friendhurtfeelingsmain.jpg 700w, https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/friendhurtfeelingsmain-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/friendhurtfeelingsmain-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/friendhurtfeelingsmain-480x480.jpg 480w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>From planning out summer sleepovers\u00a0to having deep, late-night chats, good friends\u00a0can have you feeling like you&#8217;re on cloud nine.<\/p>\n<p>But while friendships hold a special place\u00a0in our hearts, our friends aren&#8217;t perfect\u2014and sometimes, they mess up.<\/p>\n<p>Whether it be spilling that really embarrassing secret they promised to seal their lips about\u00a0or\u00a0forgetting about those plans you made weeks ago, confronting your BFF about a mistake can be, well, kinda scary. How do you tell someone who&#8217;s\u00a0so close to you that *they* hurt your feelings\u00a0without hurting *their* feelings?<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t sweat it, bb. We&#8217;ve got a few\u00a0tips to let your bestie know they slipped up, minus the awkwardness.<\/p>\n<p><big><strong><span style=\"color: #ff3399;\">Skip the text convo<\/span><\/strong><\/big><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe class=\"giphy-embed\" src=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/fKqBFh5pebTrycP2wo\" width=\"480\" height=\"480\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;re all for getting the girls together via GC,\u00a0but when it comes to letting a friend know how you feel, sending texts probably isn&#8217;t the way to go. Texts tend to\u00a0be really tricky because the other person has no way of knowing the tone of your message. In tense moments like these, your bestie might think that your super sincere paragraph\u00a0is sarcastic or hurtful\u2014and the last thing you want is for the situation to worsen over a miscommunication.<\/p>\n<p>As nerve-wracking as picking up the phone or even seeing your bestie IRL can be, being uncomfortable\u00a0for a little bit now can save your relationship from future issues down the road.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff3399;\"><span style=\"font-size: 19.2px;\"><b>Fight the problem, not each other<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/content\/howtoconfrontyourfriendswhentheymessupfight.jpg\" alt=\"\"><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/ClEg4gCpQyx\/?img_index=1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><small>@jennibrhodes<\/small><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Maybe you start to have that tricky convo with your friend\u00a0but realize the two of you are starting to argue back and forth instead of reaching a solution. This can be frustrating, so\u00a0take a step back before saying something hurtful.<\/p>\n<p>If you know you want to keep this friendship, it&#8217;s important to remember that you and your bestie are on the same team. It might be helpful to think about the current sitch as the two of you fighting the problem together\u00a0instead of pointing fingers at one another to decide who&#8217;s in the wrong. Putting both of your brains together to find a solution and listening to one another&#8217;s perspectives will help avoid\u00a0a BFF fight\u00a0and ultimately strengthen your friendship.<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff3399;\"><big>Use &#8220;I&#8221; statements, not &#8220;you&#8221; statements<\/big><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe class=\"giphy-embed\" src=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/izRluUv2pUm5U3OFim\" width=\"480\" height=\"480\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Which sounds better?<\/p>\n<p>1. &#8220;I felt really self-conscious when you started talking about the way my\u00a0nose looked today.\u00a0It really frustrated\u00a0me because it&#8217;s a big insecurity of mine, and I wish you wouldn&#8217;t discuss other people&#8217;s bodies.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Or, 2.&#8221;You *insert curse word here,* how could you ever think to comment on my makeup today? You&#8217;re incredibly rude and you don&#8217;t realize it, and you make everyone annoyed all the time.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Spoiler alert: Number one is the way to go. Even if you feel like saying something like number two, you&#8217;ll be way more productive and peaceful if you use &#8220;I&#8221; statements instead of &#8220;you&#8221; statements in your confrontation.<\/p>\n<p><strong><big><span style=\"color: #ff3399;\">Figure out if the friendship is irreparable or not<\/span><\/big><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe class=\"giphy-embed\" src=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/pe2Yu8NWmxREA\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>OK, so the confrontation ended, and you&#8217;re going through all the things that you two said. Did your friend use phrases\u00a0like &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry you feel that way&#8221; or &#8220;I don&#8217;t know why this is such a big deal to you?&#8221; Did they skirt around apologizing\u00a0and instead focus on how *you&#8217;re* overreacting?<\/p>\n<p>No matter how hard you try, some friendships are just meant to come to a close, especially if your bestie won&#8217;t take accountability for their actions.\u00a0If you felt disrespected or like they did not listen to your warranted\u00a0grievances, it might be time to end this relationship. We know bestie break-ups can be\u00a0devastating (trust us, we&#8217;ve been there). But just remember: You do not deserve disrespect.<\/p>\n<p><strong><big><span style=\"color: #ff3399;\">Forgive, but don&#8217;t forget<\/span><\/big><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe class=\"giphy-embed\" src=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/SUyO5IVV6u4OK1bruW\" width=\"480\" height=\"480\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>If a problem was hefty enough to warrant a convo between you two, it must have been\u00a0significant to you. Whether\u00a0she hosted a\u00a0party without inviting you or continuously treated you like a second choice to that other gal from theater, your friends&#8217; past actions are important to take note of for your future relationship. It&#8217;s okay (and encouraged!) to move on from most disputes and return to regular life with your bestie, but try to keep those bigger mistakes in the back of your mind\u2014it&#8217;ll help prevent history from repeating itself.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Check out more bestie advice here:<\/strong><br \/>\n\ud83d\udc6d<a href=\"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/life\/281145\/how-to-tell-if-youre-outgrowing-a-friendship\/\"> How to tell if you&#8217;re outgrowing a friendship<\/a><br \/>\n\ud83d\udc6d <a href=\"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/life\/287055\/6-red-flags-to-look-out-for-in-a-friend\/\">6 red flags to look out for in a friend<\/a><br \/>\n\ud83d\udc6d <a href=\"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/life\/277918\/how-to-hold-onto-friendships-through-different-phases-of-life\/\">How to hold onto friendships through different phases of life\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n<p><small>Slider image:<a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/Cwf_jzbv3aL\/?img_index=6\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> @momonatamada<\/a><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: null;\">Top image: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/DGMlD_hs7BE\/?img_index=5\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@lilia<\/a><br \/>\nAll GIFs\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/gifs\/houndstoothmg-text-sms-texts-fKqBFh5pebTrycP2wo\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">via GIPHY<\/a><\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From planning out your matching Halloween costumes to having deep, late-night chats, good friends can have you feeling like you&#8217;re on cloud nine.<\/p>\n<p>But while friendships<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1782,"featured_media":284448,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[283,1153,313],"tags":[50391,23496,2293,5707,4419,59040,3652,2109,5351,9552,5712,425,1156,2697,9182,940,1342,1203,45921,285,59041,6178,7971],"class_list":{"0":"post-284446","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","6":"hentry","7":"category-life","8":"category-friends","9":"category-tough-stuff","10":"tag-best-friends","13":"tag-bestie","15":"tag-bff","16":"tag-confront","17":"tag-conversation","18":"tag-convo","19":"tag-fight","21":"tag-friends","23":"tag-friendship","25":"tag-girl","26":"tag-life","30":"tag-mess-up","31":"tag-talk"},"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284446","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1782"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=284446"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284446\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/284448"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=284446"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=284446"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlslife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=284446"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}